John le Fucker

The inlaws play the Disney song again and again and again to make the kid happy. We’re in the 11th rotation now. I want to throw myself down their carpeted stairs.

January 23 at 2:55pm · Like · View Post
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Cool Ass Cosby, simplicity at its best! Five kids later he’s got a speech impediment and he’s wearing something that looks like a cat ate a box of yarn and the called its shit a sweater.

Cool Ass Cosby, simplicity at its best!

Five kids later he’s got a speech impediment and he’s wearing something that looks like a cat ate a box of yarn and the called its shit a sweater.

January 22 at 6:16pm via katebomz · Like · View Photo
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Before my pregnant wife went down for her 2pm nap, she declared that she had a sudden craving for dirt pie. She’s still asleep and will wake up at some point to discover I AM THE GREATEST MOTHERFUCKER AROUND.

Before my pregnant wife went down for her 2pm nap, she declared that she had a sudden craving for dirt pie. She’s still asleep and will wake up at some point to discover I AM THE GREATEST MOTHERFUCKER AROUND.

January 22 at 6:08pm · Like · View Photo

Sympathy pregnancy fatfuckfest 2011

Here’s how it works: The fetus demands spongy fried food, which gets presented to it, which it then grows bored with 5 bites in. At this point, there’s a bowl of fried calamari just sitting there not being eaten.

In this post: parenting  
January 17 at 9:56am · Like · View Post
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On the day of your wedding, every married couple will tell you it’s the most beautiful they’ve ever seen, then retire to their table discuss the ways their day was superior.

January 16 at 2:03pm · Like · View Post

You haven’t seen disappointed until you’ve seen a 2 year old react to being served this “spinach cake for dinner” she’s been hearing about all night.

November 28 at 7:56pm · Like · View Post
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Now wash your forehead with the washcloth. [Pause.] Your forehead.

Me to Biscuit, who thinks “forehead” means “armpit.”
November 28 at 7:41pm · Like · View Post

Six months.

A friend of mine who works for Google, explaining how much time she’ll get for maternity leave. We were at their apartment in the Financial District with all their rich friends from the financial district. They were all very nice people, as rich people often are.
In this post: Google  yes i know green is an ugly color on me  
November 28 at 4:50pm · Like · View Post

Are you sure this is legal? I wouldn’t want to be accused of taking part in a rumble.

Sally, after learning the basics of Trick or Treating in It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown
October 29 at 9:14pm · Like · View Post
dad-isms: Its never over… I have heard of these Famous! people. To review: Lincoln, Gaye: Shot to death Disney, Ford: Raving anti-semites Lawrence Taylor: Accused child rapist Twain: Murdered by a rogue comet Coppola: Creator of ‘Jack’ Bankruptcy is death, people.

dad-isms:

Its never over…

I have heard of these Famous! people. To review:

  • Lincoln, Gaye: Shot to death
  • Disney, Ford: Raving anti-semites
  • Lawrence Taylor: Accused child rapist
  • Twain: Murdered by a rogue comet
  • Coppola: Creator of ‘Jack’

Bankruptcy is death, people.

October 10 at 9:53am via dad-isms · Like · View Photo
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